Though Times

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition acquired, and success achieved."

~Helen Keller

The last time I wrote I was in the middle of insomnia. Well, I've mostly gotten over it. I've gotten between 5 and 6 hours of sleep the past two nights. That's not great, but it's better than 2 hours a night. So, why the Helen Keller quote? Simple!

I haven't been completely happy as of late, but this time of pain and being on a downer will help shape who I am. Here's my philosophy oh hard times (even if they are just minor ones like mine), be grateful for them because they are the times you will remember and learn from. So, while I'm not happy about this time that I've been having, I'm grateful for it. I'll learn from it and it'll help me down the road.

Sleeeeeepppppyyyyy

If you read yesterday's post you know that every day little things happen that make me feel as if something has been snatched from me. You also know that those little things don't really put me out. I think of them as little obstacles that we all have to go through that make life interesting. You also know that I can't shrug everything off and the big things are usually what make me upset. Recently my sleep has been snatched up...and it's kind of a big thing that I can't shrug.

For the past six nights now I have gotten 1-2 hours of sleep and it's starting to show. I wish I could say why I haven't been sleeping but I really have no idea. Last night I tried staying up a little later, doing some yoga before bed, and drinking a glass of warm milk. These are all things that should have helped me sleep. Unfortunately last night was the same as many others.

What's been happening for almost the past week is that I'm so tired that I fall into bed between 9 and 10. Then I toss and turn and toss and turn and so on. I fall asleep between 12 and 1, wake up again between 2 and 3, and then fall asleep again at around 4:30. And every morning when I wake up at 5:48am I curse that rising light in the sky. It's really frustrating and I'm starting to get grumpy and snippy. I have some plans to get me to fall asleep tonight, but I don't know if they'll work. Hopefully they will because this whole normal sleep pattern thing is something I definitely miss.

Snatched

For those of you who know me you know that I'm lactose intolerant. I mean, in this day and age, who isn't? Well ok, I'm sure that there are people out there who aren't lactose intolerant, but I am. I'm not terribly lactose intolerant, but it's enough to where I can't drink milk on a daily basis or eat cheese everyday or use real butter everyday or...well you get the rest. (this also means that I'm already half vegan.) The problem with this is that I love cream cheese and I LOVE cheeses like Brie and Gouda. Now, even though I love these things there are some days where I just can't have them. Of course according to the laws of nature the days I can't have them are also the days that I crave them the most. These are the days where I feel that something has been snatched from me.

I also have asthma so there are days when I have to decide whether or not it's ok for me to go outside or if it would be better for me and my lungs if I stay inside and relax. Also a day when something is snatched from me. And don't even get me started on the acid reflex that keeps me away from chocolate and coffee most days.

So, what do I do most days when I feel something has been snatched from my life? Most days I shrug it off and remember that this is my life. Even if my DNA missed a few links when creating my immune system I'm happy most days...even if my chocolate intake has drastically plunged since discovering that the cause of me staying awake with a tummy ache most nights as a child was due to acid reflex.

What happens though when something that really, really wanted is taken from me? In short what happens is I become distant and...well...sad. Thankfully, after a few short hours of feeling down I start to lift back up (without a lot of help from chocolate). Sometimes I just have to remember...this is my life and it is what I make it. So, even if I feel that something was snatched from my life right now, I won't feel that way forever.

Sometimes, good things take a while to happen.

A Picture

I know I haven't been posting much since I've been home, but there's very little to say on a college blog when you're not going to class. I think soon, at least for this summer, I'll make this more of "My Life's Thoughts" blog instead of it being purely about University.

Anyway, as I was waiting around to see if the University site was back up and running today I went outside to take some pictures of Hilly for my Puppy Blog. My old header picture was of Rocco and I thought it should be of Hilly now that she's the one in my home. Anywho, this is a picture that I thought people might find funny. The two pet dogs didn't think it was fair that Hilly got all the pictures taken of her so...here is the result.

The little, curly thing is Rosie and the Golden Retriever in the background in Arwen

Talk about photo crashing!

Home

I got home this past Tuesday and let me tell you it was good to be back. My bed here is so much more comfy than my bed was back in Aberdeen. And I've got better pillows and cats and dogs. Basically, it's just a bit more comfortable here. Hopefully that'll change next year when I'm in my new flat but for now I like living in a multiple room place.

I haven't been too busy since I've been home, but then again, I haven't not been. If you follow my other blog you'll know that yesterday I got my "new charge" so to say. So, yesterday and today was just us getting to know each other. But things with her will get busy soon enough.

I'm really happy to be back, but would it be weird to say that I already miss my little city of Aberdeen? Seriously...

Officially Over

Today was my last exam. What does that mean? It means that first year for me is officially over. Done. Finished. Whatever word you prefer, first year has been completed.

Right now my tasks involve packing up my room. It's proving to be a little bit of a hassle seeing as I have a different size bed next year and therefor a new duvet and new sheets. I haven't decided if I want to keep my old duvet as a spare just in case we have visitors, but if I do that means that I'll have two duvets to store. I know that probably doesn't sound like a lot, but Lisa and I were offered the spare bedroom in a friend's house to store our stuff for three weeks and I don't want to overload the room with stuff...even if it is the spare room. This means that things are a little complicated when it comes to packing things away.

I'm trying to take as much as possible with me back but, at the same time, leave as much as possible. I'm thinking that in addition to the three plastic boxes I have I'll leave one suitcase full of winter clothes. I definitely won't need them where I'm going and that would mean that I would only have to worry about one suitcase on the way back across the pond.

So far about half of my stuff (not including clothes) is packed away. That's pretty good seeing as I have 5 more days to do everything...including cleaning the room from top to bottom in hopes that I'll get most of my deposit back. Really and truly, I may have finished up exams, but packing is going to be so much more stressful. Thank goodness that I have friends the help keep me sane.