My socks today have California poppies on them.
Poppies are perennials. Perennials have always, at least to me, signified recovery. They live, they die, and then they come back again. Same plant, just different.
Recovery is hard.
When I had the realization that something was wrong, actually wrong, I was scared. Once you realize that something is wrong you know that everything is going to change. Because everything is your choice now.
I certainly didn't know what to do right away. I actually tried to ignore the niggling feeling that what I was experiencing wasn't normal. But eventually I came to accept it and deal with it. And that was the beginning of the end.
Once I started recovery, I started on my way to my "rebirth".
I am me. I still have the basic same personality. I still have the same likes and dislikes. But I can deal better now. I am the same, but I am different too.
It's definitely hard to explain and I don't know if I've done a very good job of it. But basically, I like flowers. They remind me a lot of what life is and how fleeting it is. And they remind me of what I've gone through.