Sunday, December 8, 2013

Soapbox Sunday #4

Ah, another Soapbox Saturday being posted on a Sunday. Yesterday was a pretty busy day. I had to up and out early to get to Peterhead for the tae kwon-do grading (at which I got an A pass and won the grading trophy for the day...not that it's a big deal or anything). It was an all day event and then I had friends coming over for some wine and chatting. So, not much time to get things written. Anyway:

*grabs soapbox*

No seriously. Why don't we talk about sex? Why has it become such a social stigma to talk about sex? I'm not talking about nitty gritty details. I mean, I have to business in anyone else's sex life and no one has any business in mine. But why do we hide the concept of sex? I argue that we should be frank and open about sex especially to our children.

My first point is that teenagers are already thinking about sex. I've heard a lot of people argue that they don't want their kids to have sex so they don't talk to them about it because that means that their teenager won't be thinking about it. I really hate to burst people's bubbles, but *gets out monogrammed bubble bursting needle* your teenager is already thinking about sex. It's not like there's a 'sex mechanism' in the human brain (ok, there is a sort of sex mechanism in the brain located near the brain stem, but that's not the point) that only turns on when sex is mentioned for the first time. If this were true then humans would have died out long ago because we wouldn't be having babies. We are biologically programmed to start thinking about sex when we hit puberty because it used to be that we wouldn't live past the age of twenty-five if we were lucky so we had to procreate as soon as we were able. There's a widely accepted social psychological phenomenon commonly known as the pink elephant phenomenon. And I can prove it. DON'T THINK ABOUT A PINK ELEPHANT! ... You're thinking about a pink elephant aren't you? The more you tell yourself not to think about something, the harder it is to get it out of your brain. Besides that, if you never talk your son or daughter about sex he'll still get erections and she'll still bleed once a month. The only difference is that if you don't talk to them, they won't know what's going on. And I think all teenagers deserve to know what's going on with their body because otherwise it's pretty scary.

Secondly, since we've already established that teenagers are already thinking about sex, wouldn't it be better for them to hear the true facts about sex instead of rumors they hear at school? Things like sex can lead to pregnancy and if they aren't ready to be a parent then they shouldn't be having it or that there are such things as sexually transmitted diseases which could ruin their lives or even that your first time will NOT be magical even if you wait until marriage like all the stories seem to imply. Something that absolutely shocked me is that there are some young girls out there that don't know how babies are made. This terrifies me. Their bodies are able to create life and NO ONE has told them how it happens? I mean, that's a huge commitment and no one had told them how to avoid it except to say this?! Seriously, we've already covered the Pink Elephant phenomenon so do we really think that tactic is going to work? Especially since there are plenty of ways of having sex. Wouldn't it be a good thing to tell a young woman what not to do in order to not get pregnant?!

*storms out of the room and comes back a couple of minutes later*

I'm sorry, it just gets me so angry sometimes.

Thirdly, while I have desire whatsoever to think about how I was procreated, because my parents talked to me about it, it made it more real. It just wasn't this thing that wasn't to be mentioned because it was a big grown up secret. It made it something more which made me think about what the implications and consequences would be if I were to have sex. It made me think how I would handle it if I were to have sex and get pregnant and if I was ready for that responsibility. Because they took the mystery out of it, I wasn't interested in it because it is a lot of responsibility. (Now, I know the whole 'heat of the moment' thing but it might be something to think about.)

Here's my last argument, if you don't talk to your kids about sex then you don't trust them to make smart, informed decisions. I don't care if you want to teach your kids abstinence or not. I'm not telling you that you should tell your kids that it's alright to have sex before marriage. Everyone is different so different life choices will be right for different people. I'm saying that teaching abstinence would be much, much more effective if you told your kids the truth about sex and what a big decision it is. Did you know there is a higher rate of teenage pregnancy in states which teach abstinence only?

Listen, I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live their lives or what is the best path for them to follow. But give your kids the tools to make those smart and informed decisions. You know that School House Rock video? Knowledge is power? While it's a silly song, it's also true. Knowledge is what gives us the power to make smart and informed decisions. Without knowledge, we have a tendency to make absolutely stupid decisions.

*gets off the soapbox* 

Again, this isn't me saying that having sex before marriage is OK and that we should tell our kids that but I am saying that teenagers deserve to know the truth. 

1 comment:

  1. "Thirdly, while I have desire whatsoever to think about how I was procreated"

    Should there be a "no" in there somewhere?

    Freudian slip, perhaps?