Update

Ah, I can't believe my idea of posting once a week just sort of fell apart. Ah, well. I suppose that's what happens when you become unbelievably busy.

I am just at the end of my first week of spring break and it's been fairly relaxing so far. Within this next week I hope to start making notes for two of the exams. I know that exams seem like they are forever away, but in reality after these next two weeks I only have four weeks of class and another two weeks of exam digest. So, eight weeks in all. And for four of those weeks I will be busy with school work. It really seems like the best idea.

My practical this past semester was a lot of fun. I mean, it was dense and difficult to understand at times, but it was fun. And my adviser was so helpful. A big difference from last semester. The report was due in the day before spring break started (along with another essay; thank you psychology department) so now I'm just waiting on my grade. I'd like to think that I put in a lot of effort and might get a decent grade. But again, dense subject.

The funniest thing about this practical is that I'm seriously considering doing this kind of thing for my dissertation. Mostly because I really enjoyed working with the adviser and think I could work well with her on my dissertation. Even if it is a dense subject, having an adviser that is a good communicator makes all the difference.

That's right. I am official choosing dissertation advisers. It's a fairly scary prospect especially when I look at how quickly this past year has gone. I wouldn't say it's been the best year, in fact it's been difficult for multiple different reasons. But it's almost over and my last year is about to begin. I don't know, I'm ready to be done with University. I'm ready to start looking at what I want to do with my life. But the thought of leaving here is a little daunting. But nothing is holding me to the UK...ah, I suppose I really have a whole year to think about where I am going to live. Still, a year isn't that long.

Final Exam and First Week Back

My last exam went just like the first two. I walked out feeling confident that I had put everything that need to be mentioned in the essays and I wrote for 45 minutes straight for each one. So, I had three exams where I think I passed with firsts and one where I'll be happy if I passed. 

My first week back made this semester look much better than last semester. The reason I believe I didn't do well in my Methods exam was because the lecturer really didn't lecture. Now, I grew up with two University lecturers/professors. I learned from a really, really young age that teachers don't hand out grades, the students earn them. So, I never blame the teacher for a grade (I do expect them to tell me how I can do better in the future though). I don't believe that it's the job of the lecturer to teach us I believe that it's their job to give us the tools to learn. To give us the foundation to build upon. This lecturer didn't give us the foundation...he barely gave us the nails. Plus, have I mentioned that I don't like multiple choice? Especially since I don't believe that we were taught in a way that would allow us to do well in multiple choice. Anyway, this is a long winded way to say that the Methods lecture on Monday was much better than last semester. 

I'm also pretty excited about this semester's practical. I'm in the practical group for colour vision! It's one of my favourite subjects. While it's really thick and researching it is pretty hard, it's still pretty cool. Should be fun.

Third Exam

Oh, my third exam did not go well today at all. I studied for it for about two hours a day for five days. That's ten hours. Plus about 8 hours of lecture in class and another 4 hours of lecture outside of class. Along with the 23 hours of SPSS tutorials. And yet, with all of that I sat down in the exam and everything must have just fluttered away from my little brain.

Half the time I was thinking, "What in the world does he want from me?" Along with the fact that I just don't do well in Multiple Choice Exams, the wording of the questions were really...wordy and thick. I just wanted to shout, "Ask me a straightforward question!" I went through all of the questions at the beginning of the lectures, you know those questions about what you were suppose to learn during the lecture, and answered all of them more in depth than the answers online. And yet, I am not confident. There were three...maybe four questions that I know I got correct...out of 60.

It happens every time I go in to do a multiple choice exam. I second guess myself instead of just jotting down my first impression. *sigh*

I don't want a good grade on this one. Not anymore. I just want to pass.

2 Down 2 To Go

As it turns out, my second exam was moved to today after I looked up the date, time, and place in the first week of January. I never thought to look again because I had it written down in two places. I'm just really, really thankfully that it didn't get moved to Tuesday at 9:00am since I would have missed it.

So far, I'm feeling pretty good. So good in fact that I am a little suspicious. You know when you think you've done really well, but then you get the final mark and feedback and it turns out you totally and completely misunderstood the question? That's the kind of feeling I'm having right now. On Monday when I flipped over the paper and looked through the choice of questions I had to answer...I knew them. And I walked out feeling like there wasn't anything else that I could have added into the essay. I put in what they said in lecture and even a few things that they didn't say in lecture and that I had read in background reading. And I felt the same today! I'm cautiously optimistic.

My next two exams are Thursday and Friday of next week. And oh am I having trouble studying for these. They were my two least favourite courses. I wish that they had stacked them differently so that at least one of my favourite courses would force me to study for the not so fun ones.

Well...I'm on a sort of streak and I don't want to ruin that. I suppose that could be my motivation.

First Exam of Third Year

Here we are. The morning of my first exam of the year and what am I doing? Sitting and playing a computer game. Well, I guess right now I'm writing this blog post (been a while huh?). My plan was to do some last minutes studying this morning before heading off to the exam hall for my exam that starts at noon...but I can't bring myself to do it. Last night between 5:30 and 6:00 I just thought, "I can't do this anymore." and put down my writing implements, put away journal articles, and closed the Blackboard webpage. I know I probably should have pushed through and done a few more hours of work, but I was just so...done. I will do a little before going in, but I'm not going to scramble around trying to cram a while bunch of facts into my brain. At this point, I know it or I don't.

My confidence level is abysmal. These exams are worth 75% of my grade for the course and I'm pretty sure that I have to get between 16 and 18 depending on the course to get the grades that I want this year. Fairly nerve wracking. Especially for someone who doesn't test well and who sometimes forgets things as soon as she reads them. Everyone keeps telling me that I'll be fine and I'm choosing to believe them, but I wish I could tell myself that everything will go smoothly.

I'm off to make sure I understand the different models of memory...maybe somewhere in there I'll discover why I don't remember so well.

4 exams:
January 14: Biological Psychology
January 15: Perception
January 24: Methods A (Statistics basically)
January 25: Psychological Assessment

I'm Still Here

It's been a while since I last posted. I guess the stress and responsibility of third year are getting to me. While I only have about 7 hours a week on campus for lectures and workshops, I'm doing background reading and the like for the classes, reports, and short essays that are do.

Speaking of reports and essays. I know that separate departments shouldn't be expected to coordinate their assignments and that sometimes you'll just end up with two papers due in the exact same week. I expect that when I'm taking classes from two different departments. But Psychology is all ONE department. You would think someone out there might have said, "Oh look! The third years have a practical report and a perception essay due on Thursday and Friday of the same week. We should probably push one of the back a couple days. Make one of them due on Monday of the next week." Of course that didn't happen and because my practical report advisor is so laid back my group is about a week behind the others. While they are getting their sections looked over and edited, we are just getting our data back. And I know that the perception thing is a max. of 600 words, but that's going to make it more difficult due to the word limit. *sigh*

Also, finding a computer on campus is so frustrating sometimes. Yesterday I decided to work on campus because I tend to get more writing done that way. I started off in the Hub and there was one free computer there except for the fact that someone was sitting at it reading. I mean really!? Couldn't she have been reading in the library or at one of the various tables and leave the computer to someone who needed to work on it? So I tried the library and as it always happens I spot a free computer on the first floor and start heading towards it. Just as I'm about three quarters of the way there someone who is standing a little closer and wasn't paying attention before turns around, spots it, and like runs to the seat. This always leaves me feeling like a small child or a teenage girl fighting over a cute boy; "It's mine! I saw it first!!" Usually after that it's an absolute miracle if I can find a computer in the library. I trek up the rest of the six flights of stairs and then trek back down feeling a little disheartened. Mostly because you see computers that have empty seats but have people's stuff at them. These computers can stand empty and logged out for sometimes over and hour as the person has decided to go take a smoke or eat some lunch or both and has just left their stuff to hold their computer and block all others' attempts at working. I did find one up on the fourth floor yesterday which was great. But still, I kinda wish there were library police or something. If someone has left their computer long enough for it to log itself out then they move their stuff to the front desk or something.

Anyway, my day today is filled with a 9am lecture (sleepy face), a hair appointment (I'm pretty darn shaggy), and then hours of working on the report and perception paper. I'm sure everything will get done, but I'm so ready for a short break. English always had a reading week where there wouldn't be any lectures or tutorials so that you could catch up on reading and work on essays. I wish that psychology had that too. It would be nice to sleep in all week for a change.

A Tough Weekend

This last weekend before classes start was a tough one. I don't want to go into too much detail as there is a little bit of a wound there. What I will say is that I'm trying to learn from it and trying very hard to be a better person after everything that happened. It sucks when one weekend can turn the excitement for a new year into feeling like that scared Fresher again who just wants to go home, snuggle with my dog, and never look back to the adventure that could have been.

Of course I won't be doing that. I'll push myself to stay afloat this first week of classes and, come Friday night, I'll fall into bed for what will hopefully be my first full night's sleep in over a week. I feel a little shit right now, but time heals all doesn't it? One day at a time and eventually I'll feel better. That's all I can do for now.

Speaking of the first week of classes, my schedule isn't the best. I have a 9am lecture on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. On Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday it is my only class of the day. I figure what I'll do is get a gym membership and go do some "gyming" from 10am to noon. Two hours three days a week sounds like something that would both help me sleep at night and keep me from cursing the Psychology department for making me wake up at 9am almost everyday for only an hour of class.

This semester I am taking the methods course (as always) and as for theory I have Psychological Assessment, Perception, and Biological Psychology. Turns out, didn't have as much of a choice as I thought. Must have misunderstood when people were talking about it last time. Ah well. Happens sometimes I guess.

Anywho, my first class of the year is the first Methods lecture and then later this afternoon I have the SPSS tutorial. I should probably go and shower and get ready for my year to begin. I guess there's still one good thing about this year; I live so close to campus I can start getting ready an hour before I have to leave and be fine. It's something. Even if the rest of the year is seeming bleak right now.

One day at a time.