Soapbox Saturday #7

I know it's a Sunday, but for continuity's sake, let's all just pretend that it's still Saturday.

*gets up on soapbox*

Before I begin this week's soapbox, I must first give a trigger warning. This week's rant deals with sensitive issues of the sexual abuse variety. So, if this will upset you please don't read it. Instead, please enjoy this picture of my puppy at the park. He likes the park. Text will start right after so...don't go beyond the photo.

Marco at the park.

Anyway, my friend posted a photo to facebook of a sign on a post saying,

I don't think my shoulder, bra strap, belly button, legs, or back are going to distract any of the male students or faculty. This dress code is telling girls to cover up so that they don't distract males because "boys will be boys". It's hot. Girls are going to wear shorts and tank tops. We should stop teaching women to change so that they don't have to fear men, and start teaching men to respect women. This is simply perpetuating rape culture.

And someone commented on it saying that "women should think about what they wear" because men are "basically predators" and that the way you dress does "invite bedroom thoughts." Basically, she was saying that the way women dress is what causes them to be sexually assaulted. Which is wrong.

No matter how a woman dresses, it is never her fault for being sexually harassed, assaulted, or raped. End of discussion.

I go to the gym and there are plenty of fine, male specimens walking around in tight shirts and short little shorts. My first thought is not, "Huh, how about I force myself sexually upon them without their consent or want." The same woman said that this is because I am not a man. But do you want to know why I don't think about raping the sexually attractive young men at my gym in their revealing, provocative clothing? Because my parents taught me that rape is wrong.

Men are not slaves to their sexual urges. They are not predators. We have grown past our animal instincts. Men do not rape simply because they are men. And women thinking that means two thing; that they have very little respect for the men in their lives and that they view themselves as objects.

And that makes me angry. So very angry. To all of my women friends out there, we are not objects. We deserve respect. We deserve to walk down the street and not be scared that we might be raped. That, I feel, is a basic human right. And believing in the "boys will be boys" idea, only fuels the need for this fear.

We shouldn't be teaching our daughters how not to get raped because we cannot make that decision for the guy. We should be teaching our sons not to rape. And I know that sounds simple, but there seems to be a lot of confusion as to what rape actually is.

Violent, aggressive, and predatory rape has very little to do with what the woman (or man) is wearing and has everything to do with power. The people who commit these acts are in need of professional rehabilitation. Everyday rape, if you will excuse the term, is caused by ignorance. So to make things clear here's a few pointers if you ever find yourself in question about whether or not what you are about to do justifies as rape, here are a couple of pointers.

1. If you and your significant other are in a "sexy" situation and you start to take it a bit further and he or she says "stop", if you keep going...that's rape. Even if they have had sex with you before. You need permission every time.

2. If you two are in the middle of having sex and he or she says "stop" but you keep going, that's rape.

3. If he or she is unconscious and you take advantage of that by having "sexy sexy time" with them, that's rape.

4. If he or she does not say anything and you start the "sexy sexy time" that's rape.

5. If he or she says ANYTHING except "yes" and you have sex with them, that's rape.

6. The aforementioned rules apply if you are having or planning to have sex with a stranger, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or you husband or wife. YES, even if you are married you have absolutely NO right to have sex with your partner if they do not want it.

So there you have it. There are six basic, simple rules to avoid raping someone.

All of this is my way of saying that it's not the victim's fault when they are raped. This way of thinking is wrong and the only way that we will change the way society thinks is by standing up and speaking out.

*gets off soapbox*

Lasts

So, this week has gone by incredibly fast. Too fast for me to even appreciate what it was. This week, was the last week of term. This week I went to my last lecture, handing in my last essay, and turned in my last piece of course work in my undergraduate career. Unfortunately, I'm not done just yet. My last undergraduate exam is on June 2 and then I will officially be done. Unless I really screw those two exams up, I will graduate in July and leave Aberdeen in August.

It's hard for me to believe that it's almost over and that I won't be here in three months. I'm...sad. And excited. And scared. There are a lot of feelings swimming around in my head right now, but "sad" is definitely the front runner. I knew that it probably wouldn't be forever, but I still can't believe that four years is almost up. How do I move four years of things? How do I leave four years of relationships? I suppose everyone has to do it at some point in their life, but Aberdeen has been my home for four years...I just can't imagine leaving it.

I think maybe it would be easier if I weren't going back to the states. Keeping up friendships across seas is difficult. And I have some good friends here. Friend that I have no intention of losing. I've been going over it in my mind and I honestly don't want to leave because of some of the friends I've made here.

Anyway, enough of all of the reflection. Currently, it is what it is. I will be leaving in August and heading back stateside. Maybe I'll be back in the UK for good some day. I'd like that. But it's not now. Time to look to the future. The friends who are meant to stay friends will.

Soapbox Saturday

It's been a while since I've brought out my soapbox. I've been a little busy with my dissertation and my job and my classes. But I noticed something in the past couple of days that made me want to get out my soapbox and rant at all the drivers out there.

*steps up on the soapbox*

You all realize that it's illegal to go through an intersection when there is no where to go right? I know that the light is green, but if traffic is backed up through the intersection it is illegal to block it. I'm not making this up am I?

You just cause grid locks people! I know in this a fast paced society and we all think that we MUST get to where ever we are going RIGHT NOW, but come on! What good is it going to do for anyone if you sit in the intersection and make it impossible for anyone else to go through? None. That's how much good.

But if you absolutely MUST go through the intersection and sit and wait in the middle of it because for some reason it will get you to your destination a WHOLE F***ING MINUTE FASTER do me a favor and don't park in the middle of a cross walk.

I understand that you can see and that you would never ever think about thinking about what's best for other people, but just for a moment...try. I know it's hard, but try to think about what it's like if you don't have the ability to process visual information. It's not easy to get around a car parked in the middle of a cross walk when you have the legal right of way to cross when you can't see the car. That's when you become a safety hazard. And we don't want that do we?

So do everyone a favor and just wait to go through the intersection when you have the ability to go ALL the way through. You won't make me want to kick your car repetitively when I have to go all the way around you.

*gets off of soapbox*

Procrastination Station

I'm trying very hard to write my dissertation, but it's slow going. My brain appears to turn itself off around 3 in the afternoon. It's due in exactly one month! And I just can't seem to get the juices going. I know I won't get anything done if I don't get started, and I have started, but I can't seem to get past this one paragraph.

*sigh*

I honestly keep thinking of how much of a hassle it'll be if I don't graduate and have to stay on for another semester in terms of visa and accommodation and that is what is keeping me going at this point. My brain may think that it's time to be done, but I know deep, deep down that I'll hate past Erin if future Erin has to deal with not graduating this summer.

I suppose that's as good as any motivation.

Anywho, perhaps in the next couple of weeks I'll get around to posting up pictures of my visit to the Highland Wildlife Park in Aviemore.

Wordless Wednesday (or Aberdeen in the sun)

EDA Week 2014: Sock It To Eating Disorders #7

*I wanted to write this on Sunday but I was without internet access during the times I was able to write it. So, here it is just a day late...I guess two since it's past midnight now.*

 

 

My socks today are no socks at all! Bare feet for me! Ok, I actually did wear socks today. But hey, what do you want from me? I live in Aberdeen where raining cats and dogs is a warm, summer day. Just go along with me for the sake of the point I am going to try to make.

The reason I decided that today my feet should be completely revealed is because that is what this whole week has been working towards. I sort of laid my cards on the table on day one when I told my story, but today is all about fully coming out of hiding. It is about revealing something naked, true, and ugly (ok, not ugly but you all have to admit that feet are pretty weird!).

Eating Disorders are not pretty. They are something so purely ugly, that we as a society, don't want to look at them. We don't want to acknowledge that they really exist. I've actually had someone very close to me before tell me that I was faking for attention and that everyone has insecurities. And they were right. Everyone does have insecurities, but not everyone looks at their 99 pound body and thinks "You are fat! Fatty fat, fat, fat!" It's because we don't like looking at them that we get ignorance. It's because we don't look at them that it took me years to realize that normal people don't think that about themselves every waking moment of the day.

Eating Disorders are like anything we don't like to think about happening to us or people close to us like your child dying, or getting lung cancer from smoking, or being raped. Those things happen to other people, they don't happen to me. Those are all really extreme examples, but you hear it all the time.

Well, children die. A majority of people who smoke will get cancer. Heck, most people will get cancer. Over 80,000 women got raped in the UK alone last year. People have eating disorders.

And it sucks!

The world sucks. Life sucks! But it's only when we realize that it does suck that we can start to make it better. It's only when realize that other people are going through similar sucky situations that the world seems to like throwing us into, that we can begin to empathize. And when we begin to empathize, to step into another person's shoes and try to feel what it is to live a day in their life, that's when the world begins to become a better place because that's when we realize that other people are human beings just like us.

Now, I'm not at all comparing my recovery with someone losing their child. I can't even begin to imagine what that pain feels like. But I do follow a couple of children cancer foundations on Facebook so I do think about it a lot. And I try and empathize with those parents. At that moment, I don't care what their political views are or what way they put the toilet roll on the rack (under people! under! geez!) because they are a human being who is hurting and I will always try to make other human beings feel better. Because if we all just started trying to help others through the pain of life maybe, just maybe, life would suck so much.

So look at my bare feet! They are real! Look at my eating disorder! It is real.

Eating disorders are something that I don't think you ever fully recover from. I still actively remind myself to eat. I still struggle with body image. I still sometimes think it's pleasant to feel hungry. I'm battling with it still. But some days are good. And on those bad days I know I have people on my side.

I don't want anymore deaths caused by eating disorders. And that's why I chose to write this week. The more we look at the ugly truth, the more prepared we are to deal with it. The more willing we are to be on each others' sides.

So this is me at the end of Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2014 saying I am recovering from Anorexia Nervosa. And, while I'm not proud of ever having an eating disorder, I am proud of where I am today.

EDA Week 2014: Sock it to Eating Disorders #6

My socks today have California poppies on them. 

Poppies are perennials. Perennials have always, at least to me, signified recovery. They live, they die, and then they come back again. Same plant, just different. 

Recovery is hard. 

When I had the realization that something was wrong, actually wrong, I was scared. Once you realize that something is wrong you know that everything is going to change. Because everything is your choice now. 

I certainly didn't know what to do right away. I actually tried to ignore the niggling  feeling that what I was experiencing wasn't normal. But eventually I came to accept it and deal with it. And that was the beginning of the end. 

Once I started recovery, I started on my way to my "rebirth". 

I am me. I still have the basic same personality. I still have the same likes and dislikes. But I can deal better now. I am the same, but I am different too.

It's definitely hard to explain and I don't know if I've done a very good job of it. But basically, I like flowers. They remind me a lot of what life is and how fleeting it is. And they remind me of what I've gone through. 

EDA Week 2014: Sock it to Eating Disorders #5

Today my socks are indescribable. Seriously, I can't describe them. I guess I can say that they have white toes with white and brown stripes on the bottom of the feet and a white and brown pattern on the top of the feet.

They are...a little out of control. A little hodgepodge. And that's what makes this so relevant. 

I mentioned back in my first post that we aren't in control. Not after a while anyway. And I can't describe the feeling. It's just...out of control.

But I will try and describe my view point. I think there is this stigma on eating disorders (and all mental illnesses) because people don't understand that they aren't something that can just be switched on and off. But you can't. 

Some people may take offense to this, but eating disorders are a lot like cancer. We don't want them, we didn't ask for them, and we can't just make them go away. I dare you to ask someone with cancer why they don't just get rid of it as people are want to do with those who have an eating disorder. It won't go down well with them just as it doesn't go down well with us. 

I was a slave to my eating disorder. I really was. I just couldn't eat. After a while, I wasn't the one deciding...anything. It spiraled and it spiraled fast. 

And even now I have to monitor myself. Even now I sometimes look in the mirror and think awful, awful things about myself. I even relapsed last year between September and January and limited all of my food intake trying to get back to perfect.

What I'm trying to say is that...we can't help it. So don't say insensitive things that imply that we do. Because it makes me at least think that I've failed and that just makes everything worse.

EDA Week 2014: Sock it to Eating Disorders #4

The socks I donned today were my white ones with brown polka dots.

Before I say anything else let me just say, polka dots are awesome. If you don't own an article of clothing with polka dots please do yourself a favour and go buy something spotty and dotty. You won't regret it.

Anyway, today's socks are simple to explain. They represent everyone out there who is struggling or has struggled with an eating disorder. 

How? Easy.

When you're struggling with those feelings, however they may present themselves, you feel utterly alone. "But Erin, your socks have lots of polka dots!" Yes they do, but you didn't let me finish. Even though you feel totally alone, there are hundreds, thousands of people out there who are feeling the same or similar feelings as you. 

I think one of the best ways we can preven future eating disorders is to let people know that they are not alone. That there is someone out there dealing with the same things they are. That there is someone to talk to who will understand when things get rough.

So...I'm here for you.

EDA Week 2014: Sock It To Eating Disorders #3

My socks for today: mix matched argyle socks. One blue & green and another yellow & grey.

I don't fully know why I chose these socks for today. I've had them for years. Both pairs have giant holes in the heels and a couple in the toes. It's so bad actually that I have to wear extra socks under them to protect my feet and hide the fact that they are torn.

Oh hold on. I think I maye just found a reason.

In high school I had a nickname: Ella. After I was diagnosed I started taking measures to make sure I didn't fall back into habits. One of these measures was to have meetings with the school counsellor during lunch. Then I could talk about my day and she would eat lunch with me. I don't know if I can thank her enough for taking her lunch time to sit and eat with me. It helped a lot in the beginning and kept helping when I was going through rough times. 

Anyway, one day she said to me that she was surprised that it was me. She said I seemed so confident about who I was that she never would have guessed it would have been me. At that point she paused and said "It's like you're two different people. Ella an Erin." 

I thought about that for a while. And, while I don't really think I'm two different people, it did make me realise how good I was at hiding. 

No one knew that I took diet pills from ages 12-13. No one knew that I went home and didn't eat. 

I hid that I was broken. Much like I hide that these socks are broken. 

Most people hide their eating disorders. We don't flaunt them. Part of that is because it's embarrassing. There is such a stigma attached to eating disorders that speaking up and saying "I have a mental disorder." is hard. Part of it is because of ignorance. Heck, I don't want to deal with some of the ignorant things that people say to me. But I think most of it is because we don't want help. We don't want people to realise we are different and try to change it. It's like an abusive relationship. You know it's wrong, you know you should leave, but you don't want people to find out because they'll voice what you already know and make it impossible to pretend that everything is alright.

I'm not hiding anymore. This is me stopping. I know who I am, and I'm just not going to hide who that is anymore. 

I guess I should rid of these socks. 

EDA Week 2014: Sock it to Eating Disorders #2

Today's socks are my "I heart my Labrador" socks. They are white with black labs all over them. I bought these socks nearly 4 years ago in San Fransisco. I know what you might be thinking; "Why does this person know exactly when she bought a pair of socks?" Well, I know because I bought them about a week after I returned my very first Guide Dog Puppy for her formal training. Freya is a sweet, spunky, little, black lab. She is a special dog in so many ways that I can't even describe. 

People ask me all the time why I continue to raise Guide Dogs when it hurts to say good-bye so much. I always give a cookie cutter response of "Yeah, it hurts. But it's so worth it." And that's totally true. I feel a great sense of satisfaction whenever one of my pups reaches the end of their in training phase (even my broken forever girl, Hilly). And it's the best feeling ever to know that in some small way you've helped someone regain their independence. But that's not the whole story. 

I'm indebted to Guide Dogs. I'm indebted to that little, black lab they placed into my arms on December 20, 2008. Freya saved me. 

Raising a Guide Dog Puppy takes a lot work. You're in charge of this thing that depends on you for everything. And before you can take care if it you have to be ok. It requires you to take care of yourself. And I needed that. I needed Freya. 

I love her. She gave me confidence. She made me want to be healthy so that I could be there for her. So, these socks are for her. They are Freya's socks. A tribute to my first, black labby girl. And to my second sweet, broken, black lab who makes me want to continue to be healthy. 

To GDB I will always be grateful for giving me a chance. For helping find my passion in life. For giving me my Freya to whom I will always owe a debt of gratitude. 

Also, for giving me all of my pups. They have all meant and been something special to me. Freya just had the luck to be the one to see me through the realization that I was sick and my first round of meds. Love you sweet girl!

EDA Week 2014: Sock it to Eating Disorders #1

My over the knee, bright, purple socks.

Hopefully you all will excuse the fact that this is a day late. I ended up spending quite a lot of time last night in a ton of pain and then a good 6 hours at the emergency room. Fun right? I'm fine, but it did mean that I missed tae kwon-do training and got very little sleep. And of course, was not actively able to focus on anything except for the fact that I was definitely dying.

Anyway, long story short. You'll get 2 socks today!

These were my pair of choice for the very first day of EDA Week 2014. They may not seem like much. Simple over the knee, bright purple socks. But, I chose them for a couple of reasons.

Reason the First: They are super practical for Aberdeen weather. They're thick and keep my knees and everything below nice a warm.

Reason the Second: They look awesome with my boots. Let's be honest, they look awesome with everything.

Reason the Third: I like purple. Purple is pretty.

These all may seem like silly reasons. Reasons that have nothing to do with Eating Disorders. But take a closer look for a moment.

Do you see it yet?

If you don't bear with me. The first reason I mention that they keep me warm. When you suffer from an eating disorder you often don't think about what's best for you. You aren't consciously thing, "Hm, what can I do today to be unhealthy?" but there is certainly something blocking you from eating or stopping when somewhere, deep down, you know you should. You know that it would be healthy to do so. But you're not in the driver's seat. In the past 6 years I have learned a lot about listening to my body and giving it what it needs. I can now actively think about eating. Sure, I still have to remind myself to eat on occasion, but I listen to those hunger pains now and give my body what it needs to remain happy and healthy.

Now, what does them being just generally awesome socks have to do with eating disorders? They are awesome. I was wearing them. By extension I was awesome. Self-image is a huge problem when it comes to eating disorders and it has taken me such a long time to say, "I'm awesome!" Cause I really am. Sure, some days I don't remember this. Some days I fall back into old ways of thinking. But a majority of the time I can honestly say that I'm a pretty cool person and that is a HUGE step for me.

Besides the fact that purple is one of the most awesome colours on this planet and everyone who doesn't like it should go and have their head checked (I am aware of the irony of that statement), one of the hardest things I have ever had to do is become comfortable with who I am. I'm still working on it really, but I am now comfortable with most of who I am. And part of who I am is purple. I honestly LOVE purple. Everything about it makes me happy. (I also like green, but I don't have green sock in this style.)

So these socks celebrate some of the accomplishments I have achieved in the past 6 years of recovery. They celebrate my learned ability to keep myself healthy, my understanding of the fact that I am awesome, and my acceptance of me. They're pretty cool socks when you think about it.

Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Hello Blogging World! I know I’ve been MIA for a while. The main reason for this is because Blogger was in a poopy mood through all of my winter break and wouldn’t let me post anything and then when I got back to Aberdeen I had exams to worry about (I passed both, one with flying colours thank you for asking). But, I also wanted my first post back to be big. You know, something that you all could really sink your teeth into. So, here we go:

Today starts Eating Disorder Awareness week here in the UK.

It’s a subject that is close to my very being. And it’s a topic that I don’t think is discussed enough. There is still this shroud of mystery around eating disorders and a lot of people have skewed ideas of what they actually are. I don’t know if this romantic idea of eating disorder is because those who are survivors of eating disorders (yes, survivors) are embarrassed to speak out and share their stories or if it’s something else entirely. But, I don’t think that there is enough information out there on this particular subject. My theory is this; the more people talk about it and “come out” (so to speak) about their eating disorders the more people will come to accept and, hopefully, understand them. And, as it’s Eating Disorder Awareness Week, I’d like to do my part to spread awareness.

So, here’s my story.

I started cutting my meals when I was just 10 years old. I don’t quite remember why. I guess I matured a

little quicker than the other 5^th graders and someone said something about it and I must have taken it to heart. Anyway, by the time I was going through middle school I was taking in an average of 500-900 calories a day (trust me…I counted). I was (and still am) an active child which meant that I was burning more than taking in. And yet, I still felt ugly. By the time I left middle school I was basically starving myself because the thinner I was the more perfect I was.  

I kept up this pattern for starvation for years. I went into high school only eating one meal a day which generally wasn’t over 100 calories. Those pangs of hunger became just as much a part of me as my smile or personality. They were actually more a part of me for a time. They were a constant reminder of what I was doing. And what I was doing was good. After the first couple of months I was good at ignoring them. Giving in would mean I was weak.

Of course, eventually, starving myself wasn’t enough. I couldn’t see myself getting thinner anymore (not that I would ever be thin enough mind you). So, I started spending my allowance on diet pills. You’re supposed to be 18 to buy diet pills, but it was surprisingly easy to get past that little barrier. I would bike to the grocery store, get my little basket, and fill it with cheap useless stuff though would hide my secret stash of diet pills. Then I went to self check out. I don’t know if the early self check outs weren’t all that advanced or if my local grocery store just didn’t care, but I was never stopped and asked my age. I tried to stop plenty of times, but I was always so close to my goal weight (which lowered every time I reached it). The only thing that stopped me was the fact that the grocery store got rid of self check outs. But, by that time I was taking laxatives which my father bought since I was “constipated”.

At my lowest weight I was just under 100 pounds.

Eventually, I had some stomach problems. I had horrible cramps that I couldn’t ignore which was weird since I had gotten so good at ignoring those pesky hunger pains. But these were different. It felt like someone had taken knife and plunged it into my lower abdomen and was constantly twisting it. I think I may have fainted as well. I don’t really remember. I know that occasionally I would wake up in my room in random positions not really remembering ever deciding to take a nap, but I ignored that for a while. Until these pains started. So, I went to the doctors. He poked and prodded and squeezed and squished my stomach. He looked at me with concern when my weight was taken. Took some x-rays. Really, it was kind of a blur. The short story is that my bowels weren’t working. They were essentially shutting down.

It was scary.

It was about that time that I decided that there was something wrong. That it wasn’t normal to look in the mirror and see yourself as fat when you were under 100lbs. That it wasn’t normal to take your weight every hour. That it wasn’t normal to feel hungry all the time. That I wasn’t normal.

I started speaking to my psychologist. I was shy and reserved and had a lot of trouble adjusting when my parents got divorced so I had been seeing her for a while. I think she knew before I said anything. Either way, she referred me to a child psychiatrist since I was still a minor. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa (AN) which my psychiatrist believed was due to an underlying anxiety disorder which may have been caused by obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). We talked about my options and for a while, I tried to just deal with it. When that didn’t go so well I made the decision to go onto anti-anxiety medication and really start getting better.

So, here I am today. 6 years after diagnosis, 4 years in…remission I guess, 3 years off of medication, 1 relapse last year. I’m finally at a healthy weight. After 6 years, my body is more or less healthy again. 6 years is a long time...

There are a couple of things that I want to highlight about my story before I finish with this post.

I read a commit somewhere online a while ago. I don’t really remember where or by whom, but I remember it going something like this:

I don’t get anorexics. Why don’t they grow up and just eat a fucking cheeseburger?

As someone who has struggled with an eating disorder, this upset me for two reasons. First, how insensitive is that comment? I mean seriously? But that brings me to reason the second. Look at how ignorant he/she was. I’m here to tell everyone that eating disorders are NOT about the food. There is always an underlying reason for it. For me, it was control and perfectionism. I could talk a lot about my dysfunctional household growing up or the image of women today’s society is blasting from all directions, but instead I’ll say that not eating made me feel like I had some sort of control over my life. Not eating made me feel like I could be perfect. I couldn’t just “grow up and eat a fucking cheeseburger.” Because food wasn’t the problem. My brain was. Eating Disorders are, at their core, mental disorders. To me, that comment is the same as telling someone with Schizophrenia to grow up and stop having manic episodes.

Keeping in mind that Eating Disorders are mental problems, those of us who experience them don’t have any more control over their onset than a cancer patient. Every time I hear someone even imply that I actively chose to starve myself all I can think is, “Oh, you mean I should have eaten the food?! Now why didn’t I fucking think of that!? That’s a brilliant idea!” Seriously people, we know that we should “eat” the food, or not eat the food depending on the eating disorder, but it’s like someone or something else had taken over your body. I have often referred to myself as a slave to my eating disorder. I did what it told me to do while the logical, smart Erin was locked up in a cage somewhere in my mind shouting, “Eat!” over and over.

Sorry, I got a little angry there.

Anyway, as I must quickly dress and rush out of the house for a poster presentation which I am freaking out over I’ll tell you all what you can expect from me during EDA Week 2014. For the next week I’ll be participating in “Sock It” to Eating Disorders started be beat. Basically I’ll be wearing silly socks all week to bring awareness to eating disorders.   Hopefully people will notice and ask and I’ll be able to talk a little about it. Which means that every day I’ll be posting a picture of my awesome socks and explain why I chose them. So, you all have that to look forward to! Hopefully I’ll give some more information about eating disorders as well. 

Soapbox Saturday #5

So another Saturday on a Sunday. I did write most of it yesterday...but maybe I should change it to Sundays...

This past week has been going by so very slow. I leave back for the states next Thursday which is only a couple of days away, but it feels like forever. I suppose that's natural. But I am still annoyed at my course coordinator for not letting me miss the poster presentation even though there are 9 other authors and only 2 of us need to speak and if I had left Wednesday (the day of the presentation) I could have saved a ton of money. Ah well. I will get home eventually and that's all that matters.

Today, I am currently trying to get up the motivation to get up and dressed and out the door to print out some journal articles that I need to take with me over the break so that I can spend my month at home studying. I know that doesn't sound particularly cool, but trust me, it's much cooler than it sounds. 

Anyway, onto the soapbox. *grabs the soapbox*

You may have seen some of the memes that have been floating around Facebook and other social media websites which I have lumped into two groups; the "real women have curves" group and the "puberty" group. The "real women have curves" generally either depict thin women and curvy women asking why people find those thin women attractive or a, quite honestly, overweight woman trying to justify the fact that she's overweight because "real women have curves". And the puberty ones all depict a well known actress at a young, pre-pubescent age next to one of her (or him but those aren't as common) as an adult and commending puberty for "doing it right".

In an age where young peoples are under constant pressure to look perfect and "sexy" I cannot even begin to tell you how angry these memes make me. I know this may sound a little contradictory to my last post where I said that I firmly believe that we should talk to children about sex when they hit puberty. But not in a way that would teach...sexiness or the mechanics just telling them what happens, what the consequences are, and what a big decision it is to encourage them to think about their actions.

Anyway, I'll start with why these puberty memes make me angry because it's fairly easy. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is funny looking when they are between the ages of 13-15. I think it's terribly disgusting to go around pointing out that we all turn into gorgeous people from awkward teenagers. Especially young people. It's tough enough for them out there in high school in that sea of hormones and cattiness without telling them that they look funny. It's just wrong.

Now we get onto the "real women have curves". There are a multitude of reasons why these make me angry.

Here's the thing. I am 5 feet and 6 inches and 120 pounds (125 pounds on a good day). I eat healthy most of the time but do definitely indulge myself with chocolate and other goodies, I exercise a little every day and fairly intensely two times a week, and I do on occasion sit around all day in my pajamas watching TV. I do not have Marilyn Monroe curves. I do have curves, but they are petite curves because I am petite person. And nothing I have done changes the fact that I am small. So, here's the other thing. I AM A REAL WOMAN. Imagine how infuriating it is for me to have my womanhood called into question just because I am petite. Imagine how angry I get when I'm told that I'm not as beautiful as other women because my curves are small.

Quite honestly, it makes me...just angry. Not frustrated like a lot of other things do. This one actually makes me angry. I don't get actually angry often, but when I do I turn into a not so nice person. Seriously, there are some pretty mean things I have said about these women in the memes who are clearly overweight and just trying to justify the fact and all of them involve twinkies. Seriously, bragging about having big boobs when you're massively overweight doesn't count.

Do the people who make these memes realize that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that it's not up to them to decide which body type is beautiful and which isn't? Seriously, it's just so frustrating to see these pictures floating around which basically tell some women that they are beautiful because they have curves and other women that they aren't because they don't. AND I am sick and tired of being the butt of jokes because of my size, especially when it comes from people who are obviously insecure about their own weight because that means I have to be the bigger person and just let the jokes slide over me when I could tear them to shreds like they were trying to do for me. *sigh* And sometimes I don't want to be the bigger person.

Let's get one thing straight. I am beautiful. I am smoking hot. I am dangerously attractive even though I don't have curves. And it took me years and years and years to finally be able to tell myself that I am beautiful. And I don't need anyone telling me that I'm not because I don't conform to their standards. No one needs that. Beauty doesn't come just from the person's body type. All body types can be beautiful so long as the personality is beautiful. The hottest person on the face of this earth is ugly if their a horrible human being.

These memes are terrible and send an awful message to people.

*gets off of soapbox*

Start being nice to others people. We all have to live in this world together. 

Soapbox Sunday #4

Ah, another Soapbox Saturday being posted on a Sunday. Yesterday was a pretty busy day. I had to up and out early to get to Peterhead for the tae kwon-do grading (at which I got an A pass and won the grading trophy for the day...not that it's a big deal or anything). It was an all day event and then I had friends coming over for some wine and chatting. So, not much time to get things written. Anyway:

*grabs soapbox*

Let's talk about SEX!

No seriously. Why don't we talk about sex? Why has it become such a social stigma to talk about sex? I'm not talking about nitty gritty details. I mean, I have to business in anyone else's sex life and no one has any business in mine. But why do we hide the concept of sex? I argue that we should be frank and open about sex especially to our children.

My first point is that teenagers are already thinking about sex. I've heard a lot of people argue that they don't want their kids to have sex so they don't talk to them about it because that means that their teenager won't be thinking about it. I really hate to burst people's bubbles, but *gets out monogrammed bubble bursting needle* your teenager is already thinking about sex. It's not like there's a 'sex mechanism' in the human brain (ok, there is a sort of sex mechanism in the brain located near the brain stem, but that's not the point) that only turns on when sex is mentioned for the first time. If this were true then humans would have died out long ago because we wouldn't be having babies. We are biologically programmed to start thinking about sex when we hit puberty because it used to be that we wouldn't live past the age of twenty-five if we were lucky so we had to procreate as soon as we were able. There's a widely accepted social psychological phenomenon commonly known as the pink elephant phenomenon. And I can prove it. DON'T THINK ABOUT A PINK ELEPHANT! ... You're thinking about a pink elephant aren't you? The more you tell yourself not to think about something, the harder it is to get it out of your brain. Besides that, if you never talk your son or daughter about sex he'll still get erections and she'll still bleed once a month. The only difference is that if you don't talk to them, they won't know what's going on. And I think all teenagers deserve to know what's going on with their body because otherwise it's pretty scary.

Secondly, since we've already established that teenagers are already thinking about sex, wouldn't it be better for them to hear the true facts about sex instead of rumors they hear at school? Things like sex can lead to pregnancy and if they aren't ready to be a parent then they shouldn't be having it or that there are such things as sexually transmitted diseases which could ruin their lives or even that your first time will NOT be magical even if you wait until marriage like all the stories seem to imply. Something that absolutely shocked me is that there are some young girls out there that don't know how babies are made. This terrifies me. Their bodies are able to create life and NO ONE has told them how it happens? I mean, that's a huge commitment and no one had told them how to avoid it except to say this?! Seriously, we've already covered the Pink Elephant phenomenon so do we really think that tactic is going to work? Especially since there are plenty of ways of having sex. Wouldn't it be a good thing to tell a young woman what not to do in order to not get pregnant?!

*storms out of the room and comes back a couple of minutes later*

I'm sorry, it just...it just gets me so angry sometimes.

Thirdly, while I have desire whatsoever to think about how I was procreated, because my parents talked to me about it, it made it more real. It just wasn't this thing that wasn't to be mentioned because it was a big grown up secret. It made it something more which made me think about what the implications and consequences would be if I were to have sex. It made me think how I would handle it if I were to have sex and get pregnant and if I was ready for that responsibility. Because they took the mystery out of it, I wasn't interested in it because it is a lot of responsibility. (Now, I know the whole 'heat of the moment' thing but it might be something to think about.)

Here's my last argument, if you don't talk to your kids about sex then you don't trust them to make smart, informed decisions. I don't care if you want to teach your kids abstinence or not. I'm not telling you that you should tell your kids that it's alright to have sex before marriage. Everyone is different so different life choices will be right for different people. I'm saying that teaching abstinence would be much, much more effective if you told your kids the truth about sex and what a big decision it is. Did you know there is a higher rate of teenage pregnancy in states which teach abstinence only?

Listen, I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live their lives or what is the best path for them to follow. But give your kids the tools to make those smart and informed decisions. You know that School House Rock video? Knowledge is power? While it's a silly song, it's also true. Knowledge is what gives us the power to make smart and informed decisions. Without knowledge, we have a tendency to make absolutely stupid decisions.

*gets off the soapbox* 

Again, this isn't me saying that having sex before marriage is OK and that we should tell our kids that but I am saying that teenagers deserve to know the truth. 

Soapbox Saturday #3

I guess this is really Soapbox Sunday. I started writing this yesterday, but I got pretty busy and didn't get a chance to finish it. But the alliteration still works. Anyway, on to the soapbox.

I'm a little ashamed to say that I come from a family of smokers. I don't even care if any of them are reading this, because they know my feelings. Don't misunderstand me, I love them very much and I don't know where I would be without them. I don't know anyone else who would take my calls at ridiculous o'clock at night (or in the morning) when I'm in tears or frustrated and just need to yell. So, I'm in no way ashamed of them because they are pretty great people. I'm just ashamed that they smoke. And here's why.

*grabs the soapbox and hops on up*

Smoking in the most inconsiderate of bad habits. Seriously, no matter how hard you try, you are going to affect someone with your smoking. I honestly don't care what you do to yourself, as long as it doesn't affect me in way that I don't want to be affected (this is, incidentally, how I come about many of my political and personal views, but those are other soapboxes). Let me explain this a little more.

I live in Scotland right? And smoking is a little more socially acceptable here than it is in the States. At least, I see more smokers here but that may be because walking is more of the social norm than in the states. In any case, I come into contact with someone smoking everyday walking into town or walking to campus. And, as much as these people seem to think that smoking outside means that the smoke will just rise up into the atmosphere and disappear which means that no one else will be bothered by it, that's not how it works. The smoke lingers. So, if I'm walking behind someone who is smoking I will inevitably get a good whiff of cigarette smoke. Which, I don't think is fair to me to be honest.

Let's take another example. Like I said, most of my family smokes and a couple of times of the summer my brother and I were in the middle of a conversation inside hiding from the heat when he would want to go outside for a cigarette. Which left me to make the choice, continue the conversation outside in the heat where he would also be smoking or end the conversation there and wait for him to come back inside which could be anywhere from 10-30 minutes. A couple of times I would choose to wait and a couple I would choose to go outside. While I am aware that I was the one to make the choice to go outside where he was smoking, it still put me in the position where I had to make that decision because he wanted to smoke. And my brother tries to be courteous. He goes downwind of me because he knows that I don't like the smell or the feeling or anything. But still, I get a little of it. But then it's MY choice.

And what about my dogs. Smoke is bad for them just as it is bad for us, but they can't do anything about it if someone decides to smoke around them. And they love to be around their people. So even if they decide to go outside the dogs will follow which means that they get some of the smoke which could cause a lot of health problems.

Oh, oh! And what about babies? It makes me the most angry, I mean properly angry, when I see a mother or father smoking around their children. THE MOST ANGRY. It doesn't matter if your leaning out of the car or house window. The smoke still goes around your child and affects their health and well being.

Getting away from all the ways that even if you try to be considerate you really aren't for just a minute, it's unhealthy. Extremely unhealthy. If it were just tobacco leaves, it wouldn't be so bad. But has anyone actually read what are in those things? Someone once told me that breathing in cigarette smoke is just like sitting over a campfire. First of all, if I just sat over a campfire and breathed in the smoke then I would die. Secondly, no it's not. That's just a wrong statement. Campfire smoke doesn't contain rat poisons and tar. Thirdly, when I sit around a campfire I move away from the smoke because I don't like breathing it in. Go figure. If you smoke you are letting those toxins into the world for other people to breathe in even if they don't want it.

My point in all of this is, I respect smokers' right to want to smoke. Really I do. If people want to breathe in toxins which make it more likely to develop lung, throat, and mouth cancer and give them a higher chance of heart disease and high blood pressure then that's their choice. They know the dangers of smoking and if they want to take the risk then that's not my choice. The problem is, that a vast majority of smokers do not respect my right to not want to be exposed to those toxins. Seriously, I once asked a guy if he could please not smoke in the enclosed part of the bus stop because it was getting hard for me to breathe and he said no because it was raining and that I should be more considerate and respect his right to want to smoke. Really? I mean come on! I should not have to stand out in the rain so that I can breathe while YOU smoke. If you have this incredibly unhealthy, bad habit you should respect my right to not want to be exposed to it and you should be the one to stand out in the rain not me. Plus, you're not supposed to smoke in the enclosed bus stop. It's the rules!

If you are walking down the street smoking, even though you are outside, that smoke is still making its way to someone who doesn't want it. And that is disrespectful to them. I have bad asthma which has only gotten worse in this past year and when I walk down the street I don't want to have any more trouble breathing than I already have.

I can respect their right to smoke, but I can't respect their right to smoke while walking down the street right in front of me so that I have to breathe it in. Because they aren't respecting me.

What I'm trying to say is that if you're going to smoke, think about other people and whether or not they want to breathing in that filth. Chances are, there is someone walking around you who doesn't want it so wait to smoke until you are in a designated smoking area. At least then people who don't want to smoke can avoid it. They can't avoid if you're just walking down the street and I think that's pretty rude.

*steps off of soapbox*

I'm not trying to say that everyone should stop smoking. Like I said, it isn't my choice if they want to put that stuff in their bodies. But it should be MY choice if I want those toxins in MY body and it's hard to do that sometimes. And I shouldn't be the one to make compensations for YOUR bad habit. YOU need to be the one to think of other people. If you're going to smoke, try to do it where you aren't affecting anyone else or affecting them very little.

Just in Case

So, just in case you thought I was lying about having some pretty good friends I just wanted to reinforce what I said in my last post with a picture. 

Plate of chocolate cupcakes with a "Happy Thanksgiving" sign and a tiny American flag on a toothpick sticking out of the center one. 

Happy Thanksgiving

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. This is my fourth Thanksgiving away from home and might possibly be my last. It's hard to believe actually. It's just one of those things that makes me realise what little time I have left here in Aberdeen. 

So, what am I thankful for?

I'm thankful for wonderful friends who put up with me and have gotten me through some hard times this past year. I'm not an easy person to deal with. I'm obsessive, I'm tense, and I tend to freak out over little things. And yet, my friends have stuck with me and have comforted me when things got a little rough for me last year. And for that, I will always be thankful. I've even started to rekindle some friendships which means I have even more to be thankful for. The past year and a half has been a tough one for me (and this, my final year, is proving to be stressful) and I would never have gotten through it if it weren't for them. 

I am not celebrating by stuffing my face full of delicious food, though I did have a piece of pumpkin pie left over, instead I will go to taekwon-do, tire myself out, and go to sleep before having to spend another couple of hours in the visual lab tomorrow. 

Soapbox Sunday #2

Another week has come and gone. As I sit down to write this week's soapbox I have a 9 week old puppy snoring and snoozing in my lap. He's pretty much just what the doctor ordered after a week that week by too fast, but too slow at the same time and was more than pretty stressful. This is Marco. 

Along with being the cutest thing you've ever seen times about ten, he is also a Guide Dog puppy. My 3rd here in the UK and my 7th overall. I love being a puppy raiser/walker. It gives me a sense of fulfillment, it's brought me out of me shell, and I get a constant stream of cute puppies. Sure, it does make me cry...but I do love it. It isn't an easy job and it is sometimes made harder by the public.

Which brings me to today's soapbox.

*grabs the soapbox* I'm not going to get on it because that might wake Marco, but I will rest my feet on it like a foot rest. Same thing right?

The Problem with Fake Service Dogs

Before I begin I just want to say that under ADA regulations service dogs are not legally required to wear any sort of identification when out. That means that they don't have to wear a jacket, harness, leash sign, bandana, or anything saying that they are a service dog. And their handlers are not legally required to carry identification. So, it is hard to tell which are the fake and which are the real and you shouldn't just presume. But, sometimes it's terribly easy to tell who has just slapped a vest they bought over the internet on their pet dog.

You see, it's so easy to buy a vest and fake identification over the internet. All you have to do is type in "Service Dog Vest for sale" in google and you'll find plenty of websites selling them for fairly cheap. Go ahead. Try it. I'll wait.

You see what I mean? It's...terrible really. Fully trained service dogs go through years of training so that they will behave appropriately in public. Being a service dog is a tough job and not every dog is up to the stresses and demands of the job. That's why organizations don't just pass every dog that comes through them. And that's why people have no place parading their pets around as one. Not only is it bad for handlers who use actual service dogs, but it's bad for their pets.

I get it more often than I want to admit. "Hey that's cool! Where can I get a jacket for my pet? I'd like to take him/her everywhere too!" It takes every fiber of my being and every ounce of willpower to speak calmly and not smack them upside the head. As a representative of GDB I can't, but I really, really want to. Even in this post, I'm going to stick to mostly polite terms and stay away from some things I really want to say. I know I said I wouldn't do that during Soapbox Saturdays, but I am a representative of GDB here so I should try and be a little polite.

You see, passing of your pet as a service animal makes my job as a puppy raiser hard, makes the formal trainers' job hard, and makes it hard for handlers who use actual service dogs to lead independent lives get the access they so deserve. Most of the time I am asked to leave somewhere with my puppy it's because, "we had a service dog in here once and it was awfully behaved so we don't allow them anymore." Service dogs are required under ADA regulations to act with a certain decorum in public and a lot of the time, when someone uses one of these internet service dog vests (which they don't need anyway), the dog isn't able to meet those behavioral standards. And they include things like not pestering other patrons, sitting clam and still with their handler, being quiet, not being aggressive, etc. But you get one aggressive pet dog passed off as a service dog and that ruins it for a bunch of people who actually use service dogs.

Or imagine this. You've slapped a cheap service dog jacket you bought over the internet on your chihuahua who has never really been that good around other dogs, let's call her Muffin, and decide to take her into a store. So you're sitting there with Muffin and, because she hasn't been trained since she was 9 weeks old she's a little rambunctious. Maybe barking a little. And in walks in a real service dog and you think, "Ah, doesn't matter. I don't feel guilty because I've got my jacket and Muffin isn't being all that bad." when all of sudden little Muffin bites the real service dog. Now a couple of things could happen. You could have just costs the school or handler hundreds of dollars in medical bills and the dog could shrug off the attack. Or you could cause medical costs and the dog has to retire because the attack traumatizes the dog so much that he/she has to retire which leaves their handler without a service dog.

So, because YOU were SELFISH you have caused access rights problems for people who use service dogs to lead independent lives. Because YOU were SELFISH you caused an actual service dog to retire.

But what about your dog. Real service dogs are usually trained from a very young age to go onto become service dogs. Marco is 9 weeks old and arrived in Aberdeen two weeks ago. Then he won't qualify until he's about 2 years old. That's years of socialization and training which means that he will be used to all kinds of sights and sounds and will know that he's suppose to lie down and go to sleep under the table in the restaurant. And if he's scared of anything, we won't make him be a Guide Dog. But most pet owners don't realize that things like coffee makers, cars, noises, book carts....ANYTHING can be scary to a dog who isn't used to it. Which means, for all you know, you are forcing your dog who is scared out of their mind into a stressful situation because YOU don't want to leave them at home. How fair is that to the dog? NOT AT ALL!

I definitely think that education is a big part of the problem. People don't know how much work goes into being a service dog so they think that any dog can do it. And they can't. That isn't me saying that dogs who are bred from organizations like Guide Dogs for the Blind or Canine Companions for Independence are superior. No, I'm all for self training your own service dog provided that the dog is comfortable with being in public and that the dog has to prove that they can maintain that decorum in public. But, back to education. A lot of store owners think that just because they are a service dog means that they can't kick them out. Untrue. They can't kick them out if the dog is behaving itself, but if the dog is overly pestering other patrons or being aggressive or defecating inside the manager is within full rights to ask the handler to remove their dog from the premises.

And if that's not enough for you people, it is also a FEDERAL OFFENCE to pass off your pet as a service animal.

My honest opinion is this. If it were just people who had outstanding dogs (like my Career Changed "Hilly" would be excellent in stores and restaurants because she was dropped for severe dog distractions...which isn't good when you're entrusted with someone's life) who were passing off their dogs as service animals then I don't think I would care because it wouldn't matter. If every pet out there who was being passed off as a service dog behaved like a service dog should then really, who cares? The problem is that people are stupid and selfish and don't realize that Muffin's growling isn't a friendly hello. So yeah, they've pretty much ruined it for anyone. I don't pass Hilly off as a service animal? Why don't I even though she's got the temperament and the training for one? Because she isn't one!

To sum up, don't pass your pet off as a service animal. Just don't do it. You are making the lives of people who train and use real service animals harder because of your own SELFISHNESS. And if that's not enough for you, it's also very ILLEGAL.

Anywho, CCI is holding a campaign to try and get government involvement in shutting down online stores which sell service dog equipment with proof that the dog is fit for public. I've posted the link below. If you could all please head on over and add your name that would be great.

http://www.cci.org/site/apps/nlnet/content2.aspx?c=cdKGIRNqEmG&b=4127877&ct=13406355

Oh, and one thing more before I get down off my soapbox. GDB posted this to their facebook page and people got all high and mighty thinking that CCI an GDB were saying that only dogs who came from service dog organizations were fit to be service dogs and that there were trying to make it so that people couldn't self train their own dogs anymore and who did they think they were trying to call other service dogs fake and that it was arrogant and stupid of them to say that they were the only ones who had the power to call a service dog fake.

Ok people, first of all nowhere in the video does it say anything about how only dogs who were bred from organization are fit to be service dogs. No one is saying that and no one at GDB or CCI or any of the other service dog organizations out there want to stop people from self training their own service animal. This campaign is only to help stop the selling of fraudulent service animal equipment to anyone who has $100. Will that make it harder to self train? Damn straight. And it should be hard to get a service dog. People at GDB don't just let anyone waltz in and get a Guide Dog. You need to prove that you're a good handler and then they'll find you a dog which has proven him or herself to be fit for public. You shouldn't be able to just pay some guy $100 and instantly have a service dog. It's a big decision and you need to work for it, the dog needs to work for it, and you need to think seriously about if it's the right lifestyle choice for you. being able to get one so easy makes people forget all of those things. There are plenty of places out there where you can self train your dog by going through the right steps, not just handing over a couple of bucks. I guess that actually clears up all the other points too. No one is claiming to want to "police" the public and say which service animal is fake and which one isn't. We simply want to make it harder for people to pass off their pets as service animals.

Oh and, there was this one person who said that her daughter had some emotional issues and she had a therapy dog and there shouldn't be a need for training because no one trained that dog to be a therapy dog, it just was. And no one brought this up because we were focused on other things and we didn't really want to offend her bu I feel this should be mentioned...those kind of dogs (i.e. emotional support dogs) are not yet covered under ADA regulations (though there are efforts to make such dogs in some circumstances covered). Service dogs are defined as a dog who has been trained to perform a certain service for their handler. Such as guide me, pick up things low to the ground, open doors, etc. Now, I think that maybe the person might not have been explaining it right because some emotional support dogs are covered. Dogs which are paired with veterans with PTSD for example. But they have been trained to help their handler in the case of a PTSD episode. The way this person explained it was just that having the dog there provided comfort and hadn't been trained to do anything but be there, and that unfortunately is not covered in ADA regulations. Like, I've heard of some dogs who are trained to help in extreme panic attacks by making sure the person gets out of the area, sits down, and cuddles them so their heart rate goes down. But they were trained to do that. If it were the case that just having the dog there made you feel better and safer, then I'd bring Hilly everywhere with me because she is my rock. Seriously, I probably wouldn't have some of the panic attacks flying like I currently do if Hilly were with me. But "therapy dogs" are not service dogs and are not covered under ADA regulations.

*gets off soapbox*

Sorry that was a little long, but it's something that is near and dear to my heart. And I hope I was polite. I really tried to be. Really I did. And I'm always much more polite (but firm and authoritative) when I'm out in public, but in the safety of my own blog (which I don't think many people actually read) I felt I could let my blood boil a little more. 

Soapbox Saturday #1

As I sit here on this lovely, sunny Saturday morning with my large bowl of oatmeal (making enough for just one is hard) and my homemade cappuccino I I reflect on this past week and ask myself;

What made you angry?

You know, so angry that I wanted grab my little soapbox and get on up and speak to the masses. One thing comes to mind and it's a topic that allows me to kill two birds with one stone. It didn't make me angry per say, but it is an interesting debate. So, without further ado...

*grabs my little soapbox*

Food Addiction does not exist. Every time you say "I love chocolate so much. Seriously, I'm addicted." or justify your eating habits with the simple statement of "I'm addicted." you're wrong. Food addiction isn't real. And here's why.

A hallmark of addiction is dependence. While I'm very well aware of the fact that we all depend on food to live, someone who claims to be "addicted" to a particular kind of food does not need that food to function. I love chocolate. I love it a lot. But I can goes days without eating any without noticing. Another hallmark feature of addiction is the feeling of a loss of control. This one kind of goes hand in hand with dependence. At some point, the substance of abuse will start to run your life; you will no longer have control over dose amount. The only case where this feeling has been reported is in bulimia nervosa or binge eating disorder. Both of which are already classified as eating disorders. And finally, there is no evidence that withdrawal from a specific food causes any withdraw symptoms. You don't get headaches, the shakes, vomiting, etc. when you stop eating chocolate or sugar or fat.

Now, that's something that has always bothered me. No one says, "I'm addicted to brussel sprouts." The only foods people tend to say they are addicted to have a high sugar and fat content. Evolutionary wise, we are programmed to crave foods that are high in sugar and fat and to find them rewarding when eaten. Why? Because food was not as readily available as it is now. There were no supermarkets. People had to work for their food and sometimes, there wasn't nearly enough to go around. Foods that are high in sugar and fat came around very rarely and when they did it was a good idea to eat them because you were never too sure when your next meal would come around. So, in a survival setting, it's good thing that we find these food rewarding.

This brings me to my next point. I don't believe that food addiction is real because addiction is a fairly serious neurological disorder and I don't think that throwing the term around willy nilly is safe or a good idea. But in the long run, people use the term to excuse over eating and explain the obesity 'epidemic'. And to be honest, it doesn't matter. Using the excuse, "I'm addicted, that's why I over eat." is as bad as saying, "I have big bones."

Now, I may have absolutely no place in this conversation being the teeny tiny person that I am, but even if food addiction exists it doesn't fully explain why the rates of obesity have been growing in recent years. I said above that our bodies are programmed to want foods that are high in sugar and fat because eating those foods would help our bodies in times of food scarcity. But we don't have food scarcity anymore (seriously we don't; in recent years there has never been a time where enough food for everyone has not been produced...but that's another soapbox). Food, not just highly palatable food, is available everywhere at any time in developed countries for absolutely no work.

So, our bodies are programmed to want these highly palatable foods but they are not programmed to be able to handle the amount of them we are eating because they were originally meant to be rare treats. We also don't have to go out there and burn calories to get our food anymore. We don't have to hunt, to go out and gather, to farm. So instead of burning calories to get calories, we as a society are just getting calories.

For me, "food addiction" is just a simple way to explain and justify over eating when we have no real proof of the existence of food "addiction".

*steps off of soapbox*

That's my soapbox for today. I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying that there isn't nearly enough evidence to classify food as an addiction and I think it makes light of "real" addictions to just throw around the word. Actually, it does make me angry. But again, I'm no expert so don't believe me if you don't want to or let me know your opinion. I'm just someone who is learning about this in a University course so it's very possible that I'm wrong.